CHILI
Without a doubt, the most painful post I’ve written to date. On January 1, 2022, we had to put our beloved pet, Chili, to rest. He wasn’t just a pet, he was my fur baby. He was also the family dog and each and every person in my family loved this dog with the same unconditional and intense outpouring of love. Chili had just turned 15 years old in November. My daughter was home from college and planned a birthday party for him and trust me, he was a hit! He wore his birthday outfit, ate a bunch of pup cakes with whip cream, and enjoyed his day immensely! My son was also home from college and between my kids and their friends, it was a bigger party than I could have planned for myself!
This guy was a little tank. His breed was Norwich terrier, and he was just so darn adorable. My husband always called him the little plush toy, because he didn’t look real. He has been our family dog for the past 15 years and has been with us through thick and thin. When my son tore his ACL, Chili sat on his bed for hours on end, just hanging out with him – and when we went into quarantine, and school went online – I think my dog attended more zoom school than my son! My daughter is the one who picked him out when he initially came home with us– or I should say he picked her. He’s always had a different relationship with each of us too. With my husband, every single night he would go to my husband’s side of the bed, knowing that he was lying right where my husband slept. He played head games with our daughter, and never stopped staring at her when she would leave a room, causing her to come right back and give him more love. My son was his brother through and through. They hung out all the time and the dog loved snuggling in bed with him, in front of his fan, every single day. Me – I was his rock. The dude lived for me, just saying. A few years ago, I saved him from the jaws of a coyote and he became so attached to me it’s impossible to put into words. Wherever I was, he was. And if he walked ahead of me, he always made sure to turn around and make sure I was coming. So do I feel lost, YES! You don’t get that kind of love from just about anyone else on earth.
One thing that I know for sure, is that there isn’t one minute of one day that he didn’t feel our love. Every single member of our family loved that dog like he was their best friend. He loved and I mean LOVED to eat. That dog could scarf down a meal in seconds – until he couldn’t. And cheese was his passion. If you said the word cheese, the dude came running from wherever he was for his little sliver of Kraft American Cheese like an Olympic athlete.
One memory that I will never forget - Chili hated the process of grooming. He didn’t dislike the groomer, in fact he gave her a lot of love, but dropping him off and leaving him there for a few hours was his worst day. Therefore, I didn’t take him in very much. One day, ironically it was the last time he ever got professionally groomed, a man was outside the groomer’s store, as was she, and he was berating her. He was extremely heated because she told the guy that she couldn’t groom his dog (a big old golden), because it clearly had an open wound and the groomer suggested that he take the dog to the vet. He was yelling obscenities at her and I’m not the kind of gal who watches this kind of a scene passively. Meanwhile, Chili was on his leash and we were standing there witnessing this until I jumped in. Obviously, he started yelling at me, and Chili, didn’t like any of this, so he backed up and was able to maneuver out of his collar – and he took off running down the 101. This dude ran faster than I’ve ever seen him run in his life. He was in the middle of the road with oncoming traffic coming; I’m in flip flops, still carrying my purse chasing this fat little dog down the 101 while people are slamming on their breaks – and then he runs across the median in the middle of the road and keeps going. I remember women walking with their strollers and jumping in front of him to stop him, and he just kept running. He finally made a mistake when he tried to run up a side street and had nowhere to go. And when I caught up to him, he just looked at me like, “Well that was a rush”. I still cannot in my wildest imagination figure out what exactly made him take off like that, at those speeds – and more importantly, how every single person driving, stopped their car and tried to help.
I honestly don’t know how to be in my home without him. Memories are everywhere in every room. But the more I read about the grieving process, my hope is that these memories all start to make me laugh instead of cry. If you have a pet that you’ve lost, I FEEL you! I think that anyone that has a pet who loves them unconditionally understands love at a different level. I do want to offer hope. It’s been one week and two days. I still wake up and think about him, go to bed and think about him, and during the day I remember his breakfast and dinner time and feel empty that he’s not there to feed. BUT, I also acknowledge that our family had 15 incredible years with this amazing animal who did nothing but bring us immense joy. And for that, I am forever grateful. If I can get through this, I promise you can too. It all starts with the ability to feel gratitude for the joy that your pet brought to your life and knowing that they are no longer suffering.
2022 can only get better from here!
